A Scott Pilgrim Squee

6 reasons to love the scott pilgrim series

1) a mashup any fanboi would be proud of

imagine you read comics. imagine you have a soft spot in your heart for old-school gaming consoles. imagine the joy of discovering scott pilgrim 1up and turn a foe into a pile of coins. sure, its completely out of left field, but so was the time/space travel and the evil exes. if you dont find the retro reference thrilling, you have no soul. or you were never 12.


2) eisner award winning


eisner's are the oscars of the comic world and volume 5 just took home the trophy for best humor publication...ya' damn right!

3) canadian counterculture


canadians are just like us. they eat burritos, trash talk their ex-girl friends over beers (molson ice?), and get asymmetrical hipster haircuts. scott is even in a shitty band. nevermind the fact he plays a rickenbacker 4003fl (per the movie poster. that's 3 grand worth of bass my friend.), with a name like Sex Bob-Omb you know they cant be good. point is, they're taking notes of our trends. last time i was in ontario, 20-somethings asked if i lived in the part of brooklyn known as williamsburg... beware of our neighbors to the north.

4) movie to feature battle between george michael and anne (...who?)

not all of ramona's exes are dudes. like most self-respecting hipster hotties, she had an experimental phase. what does that mean for us? we get to see scott get a beat down from a girl, before he explodes her into tiny woodland creatures (sonic the hedgehog style) in the comic. in the movie, my favorite loud-mouthed half-ninja is played by mae whitman, formerly the pious cutie on arrested development. the lesson here: date outside your social circle. no one wants to share an ex with their current.



5) with friends like these...

sure, scott's got seven evil enemies, but you know what he doesn't have? friends who pity him. it's probably not easy living under the constant threat of attack, but it's most definitely not easy being the shoulder he wimpers on. scott's friends think he's a pussy and dont hold back telling him "if your life had a face, i would punch it in the face."speaking the truth, that's how you know your friends love you.


6) well received in some circles

the back cover of the last scott pilgrim installment has a single quote that may define this series' place in comic history. when joss whedon says, "scott pilgrim is the best book ever. it is the chronicle of our time. with kung fu, so, yeah: perfect." you just listen. he is the jesus of pop culture and everything that man says is gold. case closed.



so... you and me, movie date, august 13th?

crazy, but true

movieland has run out of original stories. yeah, ok, you get that. i know. but seriously, take a look at the movies out these days. on the summer roster of apx. 125 movies, about 30 are remakes, sequels, or stories cribbed from another source (best sellers, classics, comics...). studios have been quick to finance flashy stories with little to no plot, (comics in particular. i'm betting is has something to do with the fancy cars and explosions) and lately there have been a lot of uninspired flops. Jonah Hex, anyone?

that said, there is one book-to-movie conversion i'm super psyched about.


It's Kind of a Funny Story

there was this one time some dude asked me what i was reading while i was waiting for my bus. i said, "a book about high school students". he nodded and then asked, "do you like it?" which seemed like a dumb question at the time. i usually read books that i like. unless theyre homework. and this wasnt homework. despite my eyeroll, he continued. "do you identify with the characters?" i shrugged. not because the answer to the question was "no", but because this stranger was awfully forward. he was starting to creep me out, but the bus was pulling up to that curb any minute and its not like i could blow him off by walking away. i went back to reading. he went back to not getting the hint. one more question: "now, what grade are you in?" if i had only known he was after pretty young things, i would have told him i just finished grad school at the start of the weird exchange. instead i killed the conversation right there. 

but i digress.

the book that started that interrogation was Tales of the Madman Underground - another story about crazy kids, sure, but ones with extraordinary circumstances that make them so. Ned Vizzini's It's Kind of a Funny Story, on the other hand, is so charming exactly because its narrator, Craig, suffers from a kind of crazy that's just...so...normal.

he's 15 (stressful enough), enrolled in a super competitive high school (kids these days! start their testing from pre-K), can't seem to have a successful personal relationship (anti-psychotics and their side effects), and has a habit of fixating on small worries, turning them into giant panic attacks about the future fate of the world. at almost twice his age, i feel like i've got the same problems. without the suicidal thoughts, of course, which is why Craig checks himself into a mental health clinic. hilarity ensues and lessons are learned when a hospital remodeling forces Craig into the adult psych ward.

so, a tiny list of reasons why you should see this movie...

1. downtrodden, but likeable hero, trying to answer the big questions in life
2. slightly less silly (read: more approachable) zach galifianakis (i totally spelled that without double checking)
3. daniel faraday! in a hat!
4. carefully selected indie soundtrack for maximum emotional punch

now that you're convinced, go watch the trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_pq7HKc9z8

it's like christmas morn in the movie theatres. the only thing that could make the awesome adaptation any better is if it was a double feature with John Green's Paper Towns (have i mentioned my soft spot for disaffected youth?). but since that's not due to happen any time soon, i'll settle for another promising adaptation involving canadian humour (note the extra "u"), video game metaphors, and michael cera.

Stay tuned for: A Scott Pilgrim Squee

EDIT: this John Green promo on the amazon site is high-larious.

twee tv OR how i learned to love books on the screen

a full (and last) semester of library sciencing under my belt, i now return to tv blog you silly. i know you've missed me terribly, so what do you say we just dive right in? good? great!

having the grace and good luck that i do, i've chosen the most inauspicious time to pop back to pop culture. the ominous atmospheric change of which i speak...twilight. now i could, like many people who have the good sense to do so, mercilessly mock the franchise, but what else could add to the conversation that hasn't already been said? take downs of creepy merch, creepy fan-mades, and the creepy fans themselves are everywhere and i don't love the series enough to justify talking about it all the time.

instead, let me spend some time talking about things i do like - namely, YA, tv, and YA on the tv. it will be funnier, and it won't make me hate life as much.

so, dear followers, let's travel to a place, far off in the internet where the hair is big, the emotions are bigger and the banter campy. that place, gentle readers, is a land called "made for tv movies". as we wander, take a look around. who's that you see? valerie bertinelli and marcia gay harden?! crying about teenage pregnancy, cancer, and low self esteem?! oh well, then we must be nearing the village of "lifetime television for women". moving along. as we continue our tour, you can - wait! kristen stewart? is that you?! i thought we left your ass back in "teenage sparklemopey mumbleville". oh, i get it. you're here as a representative of tv-cum-YA novels. fine. you can stay and listen to me. but only if you shut up and sit in the back.

Speak

once upon a time, a sullen suburban teen kept a secret. ever since her encounter with the pervy undead jock at that party on the twinkling meadow farm, she hadn't been the same. withdrawing from friends, increased clumsiness, and an appetite for woodland creatures self-destruction, mark this tale of female frailty empowerment.

no, seriously, laurie halse anderson writes some pretty fantastic books. the tv version may smack of lifetime's "not my daughter" aesthetic (elizabeth perkins takes a very un-"weeds" turn as a concerned mother; kristen underwhelms us with her mumblecore method of acting), but nothing satisfies me more than a problem novel brought to life.

Don't Die My Love

 in 1998, lifetime had the happy idea of producing a movie based on the lurlene mcdaniel novel (can you even call it that?) don't die my love. the title? a champion's fight: a moment of truth movie. seriously. i couldn't make that up. fortunately for us suckers, they retained the GRAND STATEMENTS ABOUT LOVE!, the ridiculousness of teenage logic and (SPOILER: not that you'll find this movie, or have any reason to read this book) luke still bites it in the end. i laughed, i cried, i wanted more.

Rats Saw God

this book might be one of my favorite YA books. it's got everything a girl could want: sensitive/sarcastic boy protagonist, a band of merry social pariahs, no nonsense love interest wanda "dub" varner...

author rob thomas (no, not that one), takes the familiar loner and makes him something more than a two dimensional place holder carried along by flimsy plot devices (i'm looking at you, lurlene). scott york may be a total loser (socially retarded, failing class, king of unrequited love. he really can't get anything right.), but he's the kind of loser i'd want for a best friend. wherever he is, i hope scott's doing alright these days...

now, while this novel was never officially turned into a television screenplay, it's a literary sibling to one of the best shows no longer on tv - veronica mars. vm was born out of a novel rob thomas (no, not that one) never published. read a few diary entries in rats saw god, listen to a few voice overs on vm... you'll start to see the two loners as one in the same. in fact, veronica is so similar to scott, thomas first imagined her as a him. but, knowing better, rob added some girl power into the script.

oh, and more proof they come from the same world: s1e6 features veronica mars getting duped by a smart-mouthed wild child. her name? dub varner.

the black man has no name! THE BLACK MAN HAS NO NAME!

white people are in trouble! oh no! call....

THE HAITIAN

wait, what?

you know, for as far as entertainment has come, sometimes it's just appallingly behind the curve. i'm sorry to say, nbc's hit supernatural drama heroes is a grade a example of what happens when staff writers become a bit negligent of 200 YEARS OF STEREOTYPES!

let's explore:

for those of you who are not familiar with the show (under a rock much?), heroes is an ensemble drama about people with special abilities living in secret (for the most part) while trying to avoid baddies - the government, creepy siblings and parents, villains (naturally), etc. most are given run-of-the-mill powers: flying, telepathy, super speed...nothing marvel hasn't done to death. however, our man of the hour here (see above, looking all pensive and sexy) is a bit of a wet blanket for the supernaturally inclined. if you're used to defying the time-space continuum with your fancy time traveling powers, standing within 20 feet of the haitian (henceforth known as THE HAITIAN. he's getting his due respect in CAPS, bitches.) will keep you in the present moment. the plug is pulled on your power, like that.

it's no surprise then, that THE HAITIAN would come in handy when dealing with, say, a sociopath intent on murdering you with his thoughts. i'd like to keep THE HAITIAN close, too. however, these white people (former employers, still proving very needy) keep telling him where to be and what to do. nevermind the fact that he quit "the company" two years ago. nevermind the fact that he really didn't have a choice about taking that job in the first place ("work with us, or we ruin your life"). this man has been doing their bidding for at least two decades, and they can't be bothered to CALL HIM BY HIS NAME?! in fact, after four years of broadcasting, we only learned his name LAST WEEK (it's Rene, by the way). maybe someone in the writer's room finally clued in to the fact that when you put a nearly silent black man (he didn't utter a word until halfway through the first season) on the screen who exists only to take orders from the bourgeois...you're only a hop skip and a jump away from some of these famous predecessors.

mammy

a black person to cure all them white folks' problems. it doesn't matter whether youse having a baby or are being threatened by some telekinetic freak, if you got a mammy you'll be fat and happy soon.

sambo

you know, just the other day, i saw THE HAITIAN lounging under a tree taming some wild animals and i thought, "you know what that man needs? A JOB." so i put him to work for some secretive, ethically dubious corporation. he hasn't had a day off since.

the magical negro

he's black. he makes magical things happen. you know, cause when you're from the deep forests of some primal nation, that sorta stuff just comes easy to you.

UPDATE: honorable mention to tv's other favorite semi-silent, magical negro of recent years, mr. ___ eko. not like we know his first name either.

a sensitive aside: Jimmy Jean-Louis, the actor who portrays RENE, is actually Haitian. now didn't that just get all meta for you?

in tv land...everyone is qualified to be a guidance counselor

for all intents and purposes, i'm in a committed relationship with my television. i see it regularly. rearrange existing dates to accommodate its schedule. spend the morning after thinking "i wonder what he meant when he said that last night." etc. etc. the same is true for the little people inside the box. after all the hours i spend with them, through the good and bad, i want the best for them. so, of course, i'm happy when they succeed, regardless of the circumstances. but i can only make certain concessions to a point. i realize going around poking holes in the logic of a fictional world is really a waste of time...but somebody must. right?

as an aspiring librarian, the question i hate the most (yet, have to answer with an alarming frequency) is "oh, you have to go to school for that?". if i, lowly custodian of rare volumes, have to spend 2 years and thousands of dollars learning how to handle the goods, shouldn't someone charged with handling the education and mental health of minors be required to sit in on a night class or two?

so, gentle readers, let us now take this moment to acknowledge the absurdity of "the tv guidance counselor".

according to some fancy pants national association, the minimum amount of training a person must endure is a Masters degree in either Psychology or Education and a 240 on the "152 TExES School Counselor Exam". out of a possible 300. maybe more depending on your state. so, the next time your favorite tv show nominates the town wacko to tell Cast Member A to "pick a safety", i want to see that the props department has done the same for our star.

K.I.T. : a look at the greats


Emma Pillsbury

she wears sweater sets. she's afraid of germs. you win some, you lose some, right? far be it for me to accuse her of being anything other than fastidious (she probably got a gold star in student teaching), but i'm just concerned. her danny tanner-like need for clean must inhibit her ability to dispense relevant advice (does anyone else see the pamphlet behind her desk? "Radon: the silent killer"). also, teenagers are dirty. i think she needs a guidance counselor to help her choose a new career path.


Jeff Rosso

hippie with a heart of gold. this is the man you went to when you wanted some straight talk with a side of reminiscing. he was just as likely to solve your problem as he was to sing you a song. or tell you about his personal conflicts with bullies. or herpes. and, sure, that crosses a line that would make most schools fear lawsuit, but rosso just wouldn't let the man (in this case, a very necessary educational bureaucracy) get him down.



Buffy Summers

Buffy Anne Summers. she saved the world. a lot. apparently that's all the recommendation the administration over at sunny dale high needed before hiring our favorite vampire slayer. now, impending apocalypse aside, i think it's wise to point out that buffy can have some serious, uh, blonde moments. and, if her taste in men is anything to go by, she's not exactly a champion good decision maker. buffy pro's: she'll keep you from dying. buffy con's: attrocious grammar, dropped out of college, may still be suffering from some latent ptsd from that time she was dead. and, oh yeah, a student did actually die on her first day on the job.


Tami Taylor

my biggest problem with friday night lights may very well be that i forget this show is fiction. of course, that may have more to do with my abiding love for one adorable QB1 than with the show's content, but my point remains. all those docu drama angles and that improvised dialogue, it just seems like they are going out of their way to fool me. that said, they blew their verisimilitude to pieces when they promoted tami taylor from mrs. coach to school administrator. i've been told they do things differently in texas, i just wasn't aware that included allowing uncertified nice ladies to coach afterschool sports, advise town bimbos on college apps and rezone school districts. i mean, if that's the case, i may start practicing law in dillon. (my first action: prove that all "saracens" are constitutionaly obligated to marry me at my discretion.)

why i watch gossip girl OR a meditation on Ho Yay!

hello. my name is nicole. and it's been 36 hours since my last hit of gossip girl.

i. am. addicted?

step one is admitting you have a problem. i am, clearly not ready to do that. what i am ready for, however, is admitting that i share the taste of 2.24 million teenage girls across the nation. but, hey, that's not really news.

GG justifications i've used in the past:

1. "you know how i am with series premieres." if i catch the first episode, i'm in it for the long haul. call it a strong work ethic, my sticktoittiveness, or my sheer stubbornness (i will not let mediocre television get the best of me!)

2. "it just doesn't understand Camp." a smart lady once said, "Pure Camp is always naive. Camp which knows itself to be Camp is usually less satisfying." i once replied, "ain't that the motherfucking truth." the monday night bitchery that is GG may succeed in it's over the topness, but if i want 'wink wink nudge nudge' irony i'll go hang out bedford ave. GG never rises above being "less satisfying" than the Grande Dame of all naive teen programming: Beverly Hills 90210 (1.0, thank you very much). now that was a show completely oblivious of its PSA-style transgressions. in one decade they managed to burn, mug, rape, kidnap, shoot, induce amnesia and miscarriage, cult up and coke up a single cast member. all with a happy moral at the end of each story arc. sorry to say, there isn't enough lavender in chuck bass' wardrobe to compete with that theatre of the absurd.

which brings me to my next point...

3. "they're just stringing me along with all that HoYAY!" chuck, patron saint of bad deeds and dandies, needs to lay off the purple. and the exchange of bedroom eyes with his bestie, nate. unless he means it. and he always means it. you wanna know why? well, because he's chuck bass.

observe:

martini's at a pool party? chuck's trying to make a statement and it's not "i'm a suburban wife with 2 toddlers." also, i'm pretty sure "casual touch" ranks high in some 'girls guide to snagging her guy' manual. smooth move, nate.

when i was a little girl, i thought prince charming would come and whisk me away from all of my worldly troubles. seems chuck's had the same fantasy. note: nate's "i can't deal with you when you get like this. can we talk when we get home later?" look. (to non-viewers: they do, indeed, live in domestic bliss. though i'm sure CW execs would call it a "totally male heterosexual city dwelling.")

there is something queer about this scene. ahem, sartorially speaking. red pants, green socks, purple ascot! it's all a bit...off. this unsettling feeling, of course, has nothing to do with, say, chuck's seductive pose or nate's crotchward gaze. no, noo! not at all...

"you say something. he turns and flashes a coy smile in another direction, looking like he's contemplating something big. there's a pause. your eyes meet and, before you know it, you're being drawn in for the big moment, like you were some twinkling star in his orbit. will your world's collide? you should slow down, put a hand out to stop you from your fall. but now that hand is there and grasping. 'this purple suit's gonna get wrinkled,' you think, surprised at how little you actually care."

and with that, i just became nate's favorite erotic fiction writer.

media studies...of a different kind

extra credit? not quite. just turning a new technological leaf this november.

the posts from jan to may were all about what academia has to say about (cue heralding trumpets) "information technologies". but enough with the book learning. im about to school (and be schooled) you on tv.

for this very special occasion i'd like to regale you with a tune i composed. it's written in the key of "i watch too much tv and am concerned that is stunting the growth of my interpersonal skills." little matty saracen was my muse. please enjoy this in an ironic fashion and try not to pity me too much.

(in the style of jenny lewis)

the aftertaste of lonely

take out for two

except on of them is you

tv lights flicker

and i am made sicker

by the feeling

of being

alone

her love isn't so provisional

it's just mine that's televisional

and, oh, i should get out more

but i know i'm such a bore

the real world

dont treat me

so well

(catchy blue grass hook here)

chorus:

do you think there are others

with two dimensional lovers

and those

they would consider

friends

is it fine to feel so homey

instead of just only

creating plots

as means

to my own ends

but i'll have one more sip

and i swear i will quit

this relationship

i've built in my head

i need a new flavor

one i can savor

i'm sick of just only

this aftertaste of lonely

if there's one thing the internet has been missing, it's my opinion. so, let's begin.